Episode 8

Hey there, fans! I know that's a leap to assume that you might be a fan, but I'm going to go with it. Why not? It makes me feel like I've got good company. So, Hey there, fans! This is Rick Lewis, and this is episode eight of The Follow Through Formula Podcast, and today was a tough one for me, and it's tough for me to get on the microphone and sit down and say I'm going to provide something of value.

What happens in that circumstance for me? What I notice goes on in my brain is that when I think of providing something of value, I think that I've got to be somebody who is wise or smart or helpful or insightful or knowledgeable in order to provide value. And I think this is very often where follow through breaks down, because if I think I have to be something that I  might not be in any given moment, then I'm stuck. What do I do at that point, if I have to be something different from what I am in this moment, today?

It was just a day that was hard. I'm in the middle of launching this community and this course and it comes and goes in waves. I get support, I get great feedback. I get people signing up for the course and then things go quiet. And when they go quiet, all those little gremlins that are hidden underneath in my mind come creeping out and they say, “See? I told you nobody's going to care about this. Nobody is going to sign up for this. You're crazy. You're gonna look like a fool.” All the little voices come up and they start taunting me.

If I'm being run by my feeling state, by the roller coaster of emotion, which is par for the course in daily life for any human being, then the game is over.

If I believe or give in to the thoughts that arise from emotion, game over. Follow through is not possible if my primary identification is with that emotional roller coaster. So, instead, what I try to do is to just stick with the program, the actions I have committed to. The program is based on the commitment I’ve made, which is facilitating and curating a conversation about consistently doing what matters. For me to consistently do what matters I have to keep offering myself as I am to that conversation.

So here I am. Episode eight. Tough day. Not feeling particularly inspired as I sit down to the podcast today, but I'm going to follow through. In the process of following through, I get to bring myself back to the table. Even now, just speaking about this in this way is helping me get back on track, contain the gremlins, because I realize as I take action that nothing can ever separate me from the purpose I've chosen. No result or lack of result can separate me from that.

Most human beings are not as fulfilled, as happy, as radiant as they could be if they were able to connect more squarely with what they're here to do. When I say do what you love, I want to qualify that by saying that I'm not pretending that every minute of every day should be some kind of ecstatic experience. Often doing what we love is a context in which there are a lot of tasks that have to occur that aren't the most fun things. For me, a lot of that looks like dealing with online platforms and systems that I don't know much about. They malfunction or they don't flow properly. And I'm not able to reach people or for people to reach me, to accomplish the mission that I want to accomplish online. And that's frustrating.

But because I know what the big picture is, and because all of these tasks I am attending to are part of getting to that goal, it's under the banner of something I love, and it allows me to move through those tasks without feeling defeated.

The title of this podcast is How Reliable Are You? And if you think about it, people who are interested in follow through are already the people who are very reliable. You're not interested in the subject of follow through if you're not already reliable. If you are listening to this, you are probably the one that everybody counts on, and you pride yourself on your reliability and your follow through. When everybody else has gone home, checked out at the normal time, you're still there because there's work that hasn't been finished yet or a mess that hasn't been put away or straightened out, or dishes that are still sitting in the sink or something that has been left incomplete. It is you who's following up in providing communication and connection and tying up loose ends, because that's what you do. You follow through and you follow through on behalf of others. You often are the one who cares more than everyone else. You're the most reliable person in the room much of the time, and often people don't even know that you're the most reliable person in the room because you're not showy about your follow through. You just do things that are needed because they're the right thing to do.

If you find me speaking to you right now, if this resonates, here's the question that's hidden inside of the question. How reliable are you to you?

What I mean is we all love you for putting everyone else first. But how reliable are you in showing up for the things that matter most directly to you? That stuff that you're most passionate about, the ways you can actually make the greatest contribution. The things that you want to learn or something you want to create, the worthwhile risks you want to take or just the stuff that you're really good at.

I'm not suggesting that you get selfish, though you might already be feeling anxious about where I'm going with this. You're like, what? Focus on me? I can't do that. So many people need so many things. I don't have time for me. But what I'm suggesting is that when you ignore what matters most to you, you're not doing the world any favors. You're actually withholding a degree of discovery, of brilliance, of engagement, of life force that would be sparked in you and available to others when you tend to those things that engage your full body, mind and spirit.

These are the things that when you do them, you lose track of time. Hours go by doing that thing, and you're barely aware that any time has passed because you're completely engaged, which means you're completely present. Being fully present in any human activity, whether it's in relationship to others or not, is something that we all really need.

The people who are around you that see you constantly being reliable to everybody else, can feel that you're not tending to some of your core purpose. Just ask some of them! Ask some of the people who are close to you if they'd like to see you take more time to pursue what lights you up instead of what keeps the rest of the world buttoned down.

Here's a radical idea. What if it didn't have to be one or the other? What if it didn’t have to be everyone else getting all of your life force and you going home exhausted or else you keeping all your energy to yourself and saying to heck with other people? What if neither of those had to be the way it plays out? What if you could have both?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, you could have both. Not only is that possible, it's only a matter of putting some habits and routines in place and accessing a few new resources.

I have put together something called The Follow Through Formula Roadmap. It is a free guide. I've loaded it up on the Games For Confidence website. If you go to gamesforconfidence.com/roadmap, you can download this road map. The roadmap describes six hidden obstacles to change, to transforming the way we inhabit our lives. It then details the six hidden resources that you're going to need to create and build for yourself if you want to successfully make a significant change or a big leap forward. Understanding the obstacles and how to access the resources you need will allow you to be able to do what I was describing: attend to the needs of others and also attend to your own needs in a way that brings everybody to life, so that they feel fed and you feel fed instead of being drained and exhausted and overworked and pulled on too much.

So, go get the guide at www.gamesforconfidence.com/roadmap and I will walk you through step by step. You can take that guide, and you can figure out ways to get those resources happening in your life.

What I do in the Follow Through Formula course is to teach you some key processes that I've created or learned over time, and you're actually going to practice those processes in community. Some of it is just education and information, but some of it is a degree of competency that you need to build up, and you can only build that up through practice. I offer some tools and some ways of practicing, gaining these capacities in the course, and especially doing it with community over a six week period, which is the length of the course.  

By the end of six weeks you're going to have that road map so ingrained in your habits and in your way of thinking that you'll be able to pull out the course promise, which is you'll never come to a standstill again with the things that matter to you most. I can show you how to do that. Each one of the six weeks matches one of the resources you need. You're going to practice them and internalize them so that in future you will always have a way that you can move forward on the things that matter to you most.

When you're focusing on your purpose and what matters most, you're naturally going to tend to yourself and to others in a manner that's going to be optimally useful to the universe.

Up to this point you may be reliable because you were brought up being told that you always have to think of others, you always have to do things for others. You always have to adapt to others and defer to others. Then what happens is that you keep putting yourself on the back burner. That leads to health breakdown, or mental health breakdown, or emotional deficits that hinder your relationships.

Or maybe it's the other way. Maybe for some reason your patterning is that all you do is put yourself first at every step of the way because you're afraid that if you don't put yourself first, you're going to get too tired or not have enough money or not have enough attention, so you stay self-contained but you are hungry for something more meaningful in your life.

The idea here is that you can learn some habits and tools so that you can get in touch with the purpose and the vision that you want to serve. When that gets really clear for you, and when that comes first, you don't have to be run by this script anymore, whether it is attending to yourself when others need you or only giving yourself to others while neglecting time for yourself. Either way it will start to balance itself out naturally and effortlessly, because what you're serving is the purpose that you've come in contact with.

That's my invitation!

At first I was telling everyone to go to lifeleap.app, but that was wrong. That's not working. I had some technology issues as I was getting that domain up and running. I had to let go of that. So now you just go to gamesforconfidence.com, which is very much up and running! Go to gamesforconfidence.com and go to the top menu where it says Life Leap. If you go there, you're going to get to see a whole bunch of information about the course background and what it will do for you. You can also download the road map.

You can get the roadmap in both places: www.gamesforconfidence.com/roadmap, and by going to the Life Leap page, where you can also register for the course.

If you're feeling moved and inspired to join us for the start of the next course, head on over. I would love to have you on the inside with us learning and growing this way. And if you've got any questions directly for me, you can send an email to rick at gamesforconfidence.com. Hit me up with an email. Ask me anything you want and I will get back to you shortly with a useful answer or a very honest admission of my total cluelessness. And there's about a 50% chance you could get me on either side of that. Thanks again for listening! This has been episode eight.

Thanks for joining me and I will talk to you tomorrow. Game on!