# 32 - Why "Just Don't Do It" Is a Bad Plan

Episode 32

[00:00:00] : Hey there, listening friends. It's Rick Lewis once again with the follow through Formula Podcast Episode 32 in this grand adventure to record one podcast daily in an effort to study follow through in a very tangible, firsthand way. What it takes to show up each day for this conversation, for myself, has been a fascinating, interesting experiment. And, I have to say, is definitely moving me forward in ways that I really desire in my life, focusing on this topic of how do we consistently follow through on a purpose and identify what that purpose is and keep taking small steps in the direction off the destination we're imagining for ourselves. So that's what I'm doing here in the follow through Formula Podcast. And in that vein yesterday I shared a list of seven rules you were born to break, and that is from my book that I wrote, uh, 10 years ago. Now, in 2010, the title of the book is seven rules. You were born to break how intelligent misbehavior can help you and your organization thrive, and the book details hidden rules in our culture that we all unconsciously obey and which actually undermine our opportunity to contribute our best in our lives and going through the list, which I kind of did for me. I just had intuitive sense that it would be a good time for me to revisit those seven rules and remind myself off the rules that I meant to break and Rule number seven that we were born to break. Is the rule be popular where we put our focus on what kind of following and approval and acknowledgement we're getting for our actions and our behavior rather than focusing on our vision for the future and the difficulty with this? Is that a new future? A new vision we may have in mind often requires that we champion something alone for a while. Anyone who does something new has a new idea or a plan might be traveling on their own for a little while. It takes some time before other people find value and, um, get on board with a new concept or new approach of some kind. And in that vein and I was, I was saying in the podcast that this is one that immediately jumped out. It's one for me to pay attention to because in in the throes of doing this new podcast and doing one a day, I keep looking at the download statistics, thinking I wonder if you know people are still on board. Do they like this? Am I doing too much? Um, how are they liking the content? And I really have very little way to gauge that. Other than looking at the downloads repeatedly, I many times a day I'm going to check. Okay, How many people listen today? How many people listened to an episode? So I'm recognizing that this is me falling prey to the be popular rule and that I just need to keep my attention on what I'm doing, what I'm committed to offering and not worry about who's on board, who's listening in. Um, it's way too early for that, and it might be that I I may never really have to focus on that. There does seem some usefulness and having a sense that there are people receiving this out there, but certainly it the kind of checking in that I'm doing right now is not necessary or required. So I'm making a commitment for today to not check even once. How Maney. Downloads are showing up today, and that's gonna be hard. I can already tell that I feel scared about that, which is interesting to me. Why would I feel scared about not doing something? And this is an interesting component of follow through. It's just a Zim Porton. What we stop doing as what we start doing in the realm of follow through. Because if there are many things we're doing that are needless, that air just interrupting the flow of our action or our attention, then that's a significant obstacle to following through on what matters most. So what are the things we might do that air just ways we divert our attention and distract ourselves from getting to what's important? Well, things like snacking or getting lost in social media or for me, I have some somewhat neurotic habits. One is, I like things very tidy and clean, So I spend, uh, not a huge part of my day, but I spend a small chunk of my day moving around the house, cleaning up after the rest of my family members and putting things away because I like it that way. I want things to be tidy and clean around the house and in my path, but to an extent that is unnecessary. And what if I just stopped doing that? Or what if I stopped snacking during the day? That may be another way. I think it is another way that many people divert their attention from what matters most. Just going to go have a little bit of food, a little snack. Ah, muffin A cookie. Um, for those of you who might be smokers, there's another break in the day that we may feel is we just have to have is necessary. But do we really And could we even cut down on the brakes were taking for that activity, And the science shows that there are a few different things we should pay attention to when we're attempting to break a bad habit. And in this in this example, I'm referring to anything that consistently and unnecessarily takes us away from doing. What matters most is a bad habit. If we're compulsively moving toward this action, we're doing it because there's a loop that's been set up in our brains that gives us a little dopamine release. Every time we think of doing that activity and then when we actually engage in it. So the brain triggers this pleasure chemical, which is reward chemical rewards us for even thinking about the activity. And then again when we engage in or complete the activity so dopamine release could be very addictive. We'd love this feeling of the thrill we get of thinking about doing this thing and then the feeling of actually doing it, uh, getting things all tidy and clean for me snacking, looking at social media posts. And in my case, the chief one that I'm gonna be focusing on today. Is this checking off the downloads for the podcast? So I am not going to do that today. But what I know from the research is that if I just focus on what I'm not going to do, then what the brain Actually, here's when I say don't check your downloads is check your downloads. And what I mean by that is the brain does not record the injunction. Segment off. Ah, statement. We're making to not do something. I believe it's the same when you're making such statements to Children. So if you say don't climb up on top of the bookcase. What they're visualizing in the process of thinking about not doing something is doing it. So we're actually reinforcing the thing we don't want to do when our language ing of the not doing includes the thing itself. If that makes any sense, so a soon as I say to myself, Okay, don't go check your downloads. I'm actually visualizing myself doing that thing and then in my brain, trying to accomplish the gymnastics of crossing that visualization out, which is very difficult. So what is recommended is that when the impulse, the initial impulse of the thought comes up to move toward an activity or thing, is that we plan in advance to replace that urge or compulsion with an alternate action visualization. And for me there is. There's this wonderful book, and it's called How to Be Yourself. And it's actually about social anxiety and how to get over the fear of engaging with other people. Now I have social anxiety. I've had had social anxiety all my life. I'm an introvert by nature. It's very difficult for me to just engage with people which partly makes, uh, doing a podcast alone in my dark shower stall, actually quite comfortable for me until I start thinking about putting it out there. But it actually works quite well for me to be doing this, this podcast. But this book, How to Be Yourself, is full off wonderful tips and insights about how we can incrementally train ourselves to engage more successfully with other people and with less fear, or even if some fear is present to be able to do it anyway. And the book has a lot of research in it. Studies that have been done that correlate to the value of just taking small steps, small actions in the direction of what scares us or makes us uncomfortable. And I just need to beam or up on that research. I've read the book through once, and I've underlined a bunch of really useful parts. But in my role attempting Thio encourage other people to be able to follow through and things that scare them. I want to be more familiar with this research, and I've been meaning to go back and just look at this book and more detail and call out for myself some of those studies so I can refer to them or directly. So that's what I'm going to do today. Every time that I have the urge to go check the number of downloads of the podcast, I'm gonna go pull out that book and go through it and pull out. And no, Tate, these studies that I want to just have Maurin my attention, and by doing so, it just takes that pressure that psychic tension off of doing nothing in the absence or in the void of not checking the downloads. So the same I would recommend for you if there's AH habit, you can identify. And if you wanted to play along with this little game today and identify one thing that you often insert in your day, that is just unnecessary, Um, or it's just not necessary to do it as much as you do. Say, if you snack 10 times a day. Well, what if you just grab a snack five times during the day and you keep track of that today and you limit yourself to the number of times you could go grab a snack? So whatever is you're accustomed to doing that gets in the way. Try the experiment off, committing to less repetition of that behavior. But make a plan for what you want to insert in its place, so that every time the thought comes up, you have a destination. Ah, positive destination or one, perhaps that even ties right in with what is actually most important to you. So, for example, in my case, what's most important is to become better at supporting others with follow through in their lives and understanding the science. Um, the neurological and biochemical basis of our actions is important to me. So by not doing the one thing which really doesn't move me forward, actually, um, it's just a little pleasurable release to see. Okay, Good. Another 10 people have just listened to the podcast instead of doing that today, I'm just going to do this other thing. So that's that's what I wanted to share with you today is what my plans are in that respect and just describe it to you. So if you want to jump on board and try that in relationship to what's most important to you, you can follow along and actually take those actions. So that's it for today. A short and sweet one. Good luck with the challenge. If you decide Thio hop on board and I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow. This is Rick Lewis. This has been Episode 32 of the follow through Formula Podcast and I'll be back tomorrow.